The Heart of Forgiveness as the Solution…

The question of forgiveness strikes at the heart of the Christian life, for it reveals whether we have truly grasped the depth of grace we ourselves have received.

But you say that you believe that you don’t need to forgive those who have wronged you unless they first approach in repentance, confessing their sin and seeking pardon? And If they remain unaware of their offense or defiant in it, you feels justified in holding the wrong against them—nursing the grievance, allowing resentment to linger as a legitimate claim?

Well Scripture speaks with piercing clarity against such a posture, calling us not to a conditional mercy but to a heart that releases offenses freely, mirroring the astonishing, proactive forgiveness of God.

Consider first the plain commands of our Lord Jesus. In the Sermon on the Mount, He teaches us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Then, with sobering emphasis, He adds: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).

Notice the absence of any qualifier: no mention of the offender's apology, no requirement of their repentance or even acknowledgment. The command is absolute—forgive, or risk forfeiting the experience of your own forgiveness from God.

Similarly, in Mark 11:25, Jesus instructs: “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” The phrase “anything against anyone” sweeps broadly, encompassing every grudge, every unacknowledged wrong, every sin the other party may not even recognize as sin.

The apostles echo this call with equal urgency. Paul writes, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). And again: “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13).

The standard is not the offender's contrition but God's prior, lavish mercy toward us. To withhold forgiveness until the other party repents is to reverse the gospel order: we forgive because we have been forgiven, not in order to earn or await reciprocity.

Even our Lord's example on the cross shatters any notion that forgiveness depends on the offender's awareness or remorse. As nails pierced His hands and mockery filled the air, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). The soldiers, the crowd, the religious leaders—they acted in ignorance and hostility, offering no apology, no plea for mercy. Yet Christ interceded for them, entrusting the offense to the Father rather than clutching vengeance. If the sinless Son could release such profound wrong without a hint of repentance from those who inflicted it, how can we, who have been forgiven infinitely more, justify clinging to lesser grievances?

This call to unilateral, heart-level forgiveness finds its deepest root not merely in isolated commands but in the eternal disposition of God toward His people.

Long before the foundation of the world—before time unfolded, before sin entered creation, before any human heart could repent—God's heart was already set on forgiveness and redemption. As Paul declares in Ephesians 1:4-7: “He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ... In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”

Here is breathtaking precedence: forgiveness was not a reaction to our repentance but a purpose woven into eternity. God planned our redemption through the blood of Christ when we did not yet exist, when no sin had been committed to repent of, when no plea had been uttered. His grace was proactive, His mercy foreordained, His love unconditioned by our merit or response.

The Lamb was “slain from the foundation of the world” (Revelation 13:8), meaning the atoning sacrifice that secures all forgiveness was eternally decreed in God's counsel. Grace was not an afterthought; it was the heartbeat of divine purpose from everlasting. We who were once enemies, dead in trespasses, received this mercy while still unrepentant rebels (Romans 5:8-10). God did not wait for us to approach Him in sorrow; in Christ, He approached us with salvation already secured.

If the eternal God disposed His heart toward forgiving us before the ages began—lavishing grace without demanding our prior confession—how dare we, mere recipients of that grace, condition our forgiveness on the offender's first step? To hold a sin against another indefinitely, especially when they perceive no wrong, is to contradict the very gospel that has set us free. It risks hardening the heart, breeding bitterness (Hebrews 12:15), and dimming our fellowship with the God who forgave us so freely.

Distinguish, then, between two aspects of forgiveness: the relational restoration that often awaits genuine repentance (as in Luke 17:3-4 or Matthew 18:15-17), and the deeper, heart-level release that refuses to repay evil, entrusts justice to God (Romans 12:17-19), prays for the offender (Matthew 5:44), and puts away malice. The former may tarry until confession comes; the latter must come now, lest resentment poison the soul.

Brothers and Sisters, consider the weight of eternity's grace upon your life. God did not withhold His heart until you repented; He planned your forgiveness from before the stars were kindled. In light of such mercy, will you not release the offense to the One who bore it on the cross? Will you not forgive from the heart, as you have been forgiven—freely, proactively, eternally? In doing so, you reflect the very glory of the God who loved you first.

May the Spirit grant you the freedom of a forgiven heart, that you might walk in the beauty of grace received and grace extended.